The sweepstake for the drunken Christmas party snog was tipped for me and Howard. I was told it’s our fizzing chemistry. Never mind that the heat generated between us is dislike on his side and humiliation on mine. And if that wasn’t enough, let’s not forget he’s married. This week, I’ve been questioned five times about my feelings for Howard. I just laughed. Nausea would sum it up.
If they were looking for signs of romance when the meal began, they were disappointed.
“Yuk,” he said. “Cover yourself up, people are about to eat!” HOWARD took my shrug from the back of my chair and threw it over my head.
“What are you doing for Christmas, anyway? Waking up alone Christmas morning and wishing yourself a Merry Christmas? Will you think about families opening presents together? If you get lonely you could phone the Samaritans. I say that because I’m joining them for the holidays. When you phone up, undecided about suicide, I can encourage you to get on with it.”
I drained my glass, filled it up again and raised it to Howard.
“Merry Christmas!”
Howard, busy texting his wife during the meal, completely missed a colleague’s request to pull a cracker. When they turned the lights down for the disco, Howard angled his phone in my direction to hide the screen. It was hard to avoid glimpsing what he’d written. Why was he being unpleasant about his colleagues? I watched our innocent workmates dancing and joking as disco lights waltzed around them. I couldn’t work out whether he genuinely hated them or was just trying to let his wife know he wasn’t having fun while she was stuck at home.
One of the PI solicitors rolled up, the worse for wear. He fell against the back of my chair.
“Hope Howard remembered your Christmas kiss?” he shouted.
“Yuk! I’m not kissing that,” Howard replied.
“Howard, mate, you should have been a stand-up comedian!”
I excused myself and snuck out.
When I got home, I kicked off my heels, switched on my sparkly Christmas lights, put on my NOW Christmas CD and sank onto the sofa. If it comes down to a choice between being moulded into Howard's protégé or being a disloyal blog-happy secretary, at least this way I still get to celebrate Christmas.
See you soon,
Eva x
Saturday 12 December 2009
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1 comment:
In the midst of all that misery you still bring a sparkle of christmas cheer to the world despite your own suffering and a warm touch of empathy to even the lowest snake in the grass. I want to hate him..but , you who should hate him most..give the reader the grace of forgiveness or glimmer of understanding that this unhappy man has made his own personal hell.( and wants to drag everyone else into it..the word toxic is so appropriate..
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